Parenting Styles Effect on Child Behaviour

Table of Contents

1. 1. Why Parenting Styles Matter
   2. The Adult/Child Dynamic in Action
   3. Staying Grounded in Amber
   4. Final Thought

Why Parenting Styles Matter

Studies consistently show that parenting styles affect how children grow, adapt, and behave.

• Authoritarian parenting (strict, fear-based) often creates compliance in the short term but resentment, secrecy, or rebellion in the long term.
• Permissive parenting (overly indulgent, inconsistent) can make children feel insecure and entitled because the boundaries they need for safety simply aren’t there.
• Neglectful parenting (uninvolved, absent) undermines trust, leaving children anxious or disconnected.
• Authoritative parenting (calm, consistent, boundaried) is widely recognised as the healthiest style. Children raised in this way tend to be confident, resilient, and secure.

So yes, the parenting styles effect on child behaviour is real. But here’s the missing piece: it isn’t about ticking boxes in a category. It’s about holding your ground in the adult/child dynamic so your child knows exactly where they stand.

The Adult/Child Dynamic in Action

When the roles between adult and child become blurred, behaviour problems quickly follow.

• Over-praising a child for basic expectations (eating their dinner, getting dressed) elevates them to the position of control. Suddenly, their “good” behaviour is on a pedestal rather than the norm.
• Negotiating or offering endless choices may feel like kindness, but it actually places the child in the adult’s role—making decisions they aren’t ready or equipped to make.
• Shouting, bribing, or threatening might feel like regaining control, but these swings into red-zone behaviour only teach children that power is up for grabs.

In all these cases, the adult/child dynamic slips, and with it, so does the child’s behaviour.

Staying Grounded in Amber

At Katherine Elizabeth, we use the “amber” model with parents: not red (anger, frustration), not green (over-accommodating), but balanced in the middle. Amber means calm, consistent, boundaried.

Children thrive when they know:

• The adult is steady and dependable.
• Boundaries are clear and won’t be negotiated away.
• Love and security aren’t conditional on behaviour.

When parents hold their role as adults, children can rest in theirs as children—secure, resilient, and free to grow.

The Real Key to Behaviour Change
Books and trends will come and go. One year it’s “gentle parenting”, the next it’s another buzzword. But beneath it all, the parenting styles effect on child behaviour boils down to this:

Children need adults to be adults.
When parents restore the adult/child dynamic, everything else falls into place. Children feel safe. Boundaries are respected. Behaviour improves, not because of bribes, punishments, or endless praise, but because the family system is back in balance.

Final Thought

If you’re feeling stuck in constant battles, remember this: it’s not about finding the perfect parenting style or memorising a list of do’s and don’ts. It’s about reclaiming your role in the adult/child dynamic. Do that, and you’ll see the ripple effect in your child’s behaviour, confidence, and wellbeing.

Book a consultation today to discover how we can help you with parenting style effects.